Doin' What You Have to Do

I almost never watch the news. If anything happens I have to know about, someone tells me and I pick up more than I need to know on Facebook. I do, however, watch a talk show once in a while and it was on one of those that I saw a story that touched me deeply. The story was about a teen mom who shot an intruder to protect her baby and herself.

Shootings happen every day, several times a day, I suspect, so what about this one was different? What about this one affected me while others I didn’t want to hear about? The answer is this: Sarah McKinley is a recently-widowed 18-year-old mother living alone with her baby and her dogs on a huge acreage in Oklahoma. Sarah did not want to kill anyone and did everything possible to avoid that but, on December 31, 2011, Sarah did what she had to do. She shot and killed Justin Martin.

The events leading up to this terrifying night read like a script for a movie – Sarah’s husband dies of lung cancer on Christmas Day, two of her dogs are poisoned (she raises German shepherds), her house is entered while she is away, Justin Martin 'visits’ the evening of her husband’s funeral but retreats when he sees she has company (Sarah’s sister and brother-in-law were with her) and, finally, Sarah is alone with her baby on New Year’s eve when she hears someone trying to enter her home.

What did she do? She did what she had to do. She picked up her baby, a shotgun and a pistol and backed into her bedroom. Over the sounds of her door latch breaking she called 911 on her cell phone.

"Is it okay to shoot if he comes in this door?" she asked.

“I can’t tell you to do that,” the dispatcher said, “But you do what you have to do to protect your baby.” So she did.

When Justin Martin entered her home with a knife in his hand, she aimed the shotgun and pulled the trigger.

Was she a hero? Certainly she has the label but I think she was just someone who did what she had to do. There is never glory in taking a life and Sarah knows that. She has had to bear, at her young age, more than most will bear in a life time – losing her husband three months after their son was born, burying her husband and her poisoned dogs in the same week and living a real life crime drama. Understandably, she is numb.

Sarah did what she had to do. (Makes me think of the animal world. Many times I’ve seen examples of how ferocious a mother is when she is protecting her baby.) You go girl!

Could I do what Sarah did? Not sure... I hate guns. But, faced with what Sarah faced on New Year’s Eve I hope I could be as courageous. You go, girl!

Note: Two weeks after this story, a captain of a sinking cruise ship abandoned his ship and passengers to save his own skin. Comparing these two people facing a crisis cannot be done. Makes you realize what people are made of, doesn't it?

Select Memories

Two of my three children visited over the holidays. Since it is winter, much time was spent indoors and much of that time was spent visiting – and remembering. Shayne and Cindy reminisced a bit about our life in Crooked River, Saskatchewan when it was just the four of us – Shayne, Cindy, Lana and I. How different one person’s memories might be than another’s – even within the same family! Here are some examples:

• I remembered my son and daughter doing dishes but didn’t remember that Shayne never washed! (Cindy remembered that…)
• I remember them doing dishes but didn’t remember they eventually worked out another arrangement – Shayne did outside chores and Cindy did dishes!
• I remember preparing nutritious meals, baking bread and cookies; Cindy remembers me making root beer!
• I remember taking all the kids to the forest to get the Christmas tree every year with only an axe and a dull saw. It was always at least -25 and we froze our hands and feet. They remember how much fun it was!
• I remember not having any money to send with them when they went to sports events; they remember me keeping them involved in activities.
• I remember that I worried I did not spend enough time with them; they remember me taking them on overnight camping trips to the lake.

It’s sometimes the little things that are most important…

On the other hand, we all remember:

• When mom decided Shayne and Cindy should start their own colts (both of them got bucked off!)
• Building the wagon wheel fence (“It doesn’t have to be perfect!” Shayne said.)

Not all memories of that time are not pleasant ones for me but thank goodness my daughter remembers (now that she is grown up and recognizes it) that I did not use them as “sounding boards” for complaints about their father after we separated. I can’t say it was a conscious decision – I just didn’t see what good would come of it – and I didn’t think they noticed, but how nice that they did and have that memory.

Random memories like this are not just within families. Haven’t you noticed that, once in a while (or oftener if you are lucky!) someone does something for you, or says something to you, that absolutely makes your day? That’s happened to me . . . and it makes a permanent memory, a very good one, of that person. (The reverse is also true, I’m afraid – a negative remark or action leaves a permanent impression.

It’s nice to find out that once in a while I’m on the “giving” end too. I just got an email from a lady who remembers me helping her with her horse at a horse show. I didn’t remember her or the incident – and there lies the beauty of it because if I don’t remember then it means I “helped” not for praise but because it was the right thing to do. I hope I can continue to be that person in 2012.

Re-Aligning the Stars

Way back in May 2010, my blog post was titled, "The Stars are Aligned". With great confidence, I listed the following upcoming 2011 events in my horse world:

• The first of the sixth generation of "The Dynasty"(my name for the descendents of my good mare, Duchess) would arrive in 2011 - Wildwood Legacy Lace (great-great granddaughter of Duchess) was bred to Walking With Wolves
• My best mare, Peppy Del Cielo, was carrying a Wimpy's Little Step foal to be born spring 2011.
• Peppy Del Cielo's three sons, Running With Wolves, Wildwood Liberty and Walking With Wolves were all eligible to compete in reining Derbies in 2011 (a very rare situation) and it was my goal to make that happen.
• Walking With Wolves was in reserve spot in a Saddle Series and could win the saddle in 2011.
• Peppy Del Cielo's granddaughter, from the first crop of Running With Wolves' foals, would be three years old and eligbible for reining futurities.

And so, in 2011, Prima's three sons would compete against each other in a Derby (how cool is that!), her granddaughter would enter the reining pen for the first time and she would have a Wimpys Little Step foal at her side. And...Walking With Wolves, sire of the sixth generation of The Dynasty, could win the British Columbia Reining Association Saddle Series. As I stated in The Stars Are Aligned, 2011 was lining up to be a stellar year. Did I really believe ALL of these landmark events would bless my world? No, I didn't . . . but some small part of me believed they might. After all, it was my time . . . What I would not have believed is that none of these hoped-for, planned-for events would come to pass! My stars, instead of aligning, had spiraled off in all directions - Legacy was not in foal; Prima lost her Wimpy foal; I would have had to travel to Alberta to realize my goal of all three of Prima's sons competing in a Derby since I do not own one of the colts, so it never happened;  I didn't have Sapphire far enough along to get her to a Futurity and Walking With Wolves completed the Saddle Series in second place. No sixth generation, no Wimpys Little Step foal, no futurity horse, no face-off of the Prima's three sons in a Derby and no saddle!

At the end of this not-so-stellar-year, I am re-grouping.

Running With Wolves

Wildwood Liberty

Walking With Wolves

I hope the stars are re-aligning for 2012. It's too late to see Prima's three boys compete against each other in a Derby since Wolf is over Derby age but they are all sound and healthy. Sapphire has missed her Futurity year but mentally and physically fit for future competitions. The Saddle Series is over and Little Wolf's eligiblity for the series is over as well but Legacy is in foal to him and, God willing, the sixth generation of the Wildwood Dynasty will have arrived. I'm not going to think any farther ahead than that. Maybe my stars will re-align for a fabulous 2012. I know I have lots to be thankful for either way. I'll let you know.

Happy New Year!

Five Years Ago... and Now

Five years ago today I moved to the Chilcotin. Looking back, I'm not sure how I accomplished that by myself. I moved out of a huge property in Armstrong in November, re-located my horses, lived with my dog in the living quarters of my trailer for six weeks, then loaded the back of my truck with bales, packed the living quarters to the roof, hitched up, loaded my yearling stallion, Wolf, Splendor, and Legacy, jumped Kirby (my Samoyed) into the back seat and started driving. I took possession of my new property at noon on December 22, 2006. At about 12:15 I turned off highway 20, down the lane and through the gate to my new home.

I have yet to find words to describe how I felt (and I've tried...) when I first glimpsed the rustic log house overlooking the river. Relief to have arrived - yes, but so much more than that. The preceding twp years had taken a toll on me - my husband abruptly leaving me, the sale of the property we had owned together and a host of mental and physical challenges with the divorce and the burden of maintaining the property until it sold. I suppose uppermost in my mind as I slowly wound my way through the trees was the thought, "This is mine and no one can take it away from me!" but there was more yet. An incredible peace settled over me, as if the past two years had been washed away. My home was here now - in the Chilcotin.

Before I even had the horses unloaded, the moving truck pulled in behind me. Right behind the moving van came my neighbour, Art, with a welcome, a card, a box of chocolates and an invitation to Christmas dinner! I had met someone already!

For the next four hours the movers carried furniture and boxes in the house. After they got started, I dashed back outside to put Wolf in the old round pen and the mares in the panel pen I had erected on a previous trip. These two pens were the only enclosed areas for horses on the property so the rest of my herd (eight) were boarded in the Okanagan until spring.

Splendor and Legacy in panel round pen - their home for the winter.

Wolf (Running With Wolves) in the old round pen - his home for the winter.

With the movers gone and the house heating up again, I sat down among the boxes. Here it was three days before Christmas and I was all alone in a remote area of B.C. I loved it! I had brought some wine in the house from the trailer living quarters. Now I looked for the box that said, "glassware" and opened it. The first wine glass I pulled out of the paper had a wolf on it - how perfect is that! I opened the bottle, poured and there, among boxes, paper and a total disarray, I toasted myself!

Five years ago today!

Although some elements of my property have stayed much same, there have been many changes. In 2007, I added what I called "The Big Three" - water (trenched to water bowls and hydrants), all perimeter fencing, and a barn.

My new three-stall barn with tack room December 2007

The riding arena was a two year project although I kept riding (started Wolf the first winter in the snow) but by summer of 2008, I had all the rose bushes out, had moved the back fence back 10 feet (all posts put in by hand), took out the rest of the old posts, pulled all the rose bushes and went over it more times than I can count with the ring conditioner, gathering roots every time.

Arena grown up to rose bushes Winter 2006-2007

Me digging post holes

Expanded arena July 2008

The past five years have been busy and productive, I think. Besides fencing, hydrants, water bowls and barn I, with the help of my neighbour, cut rails and erected several pens - five under the trees for boarding horses and one at the back of the barn to turn mares with new foals in to. Every spring I pick up debris from the trees, etc in the pastures and burn the piles. I cut some of my own firewood and have become somewhat efficient with a chainsaw. Also, although I had to have help to put it up, I peeled and stained logs for a new entrance gate.

In all, fourteen foals have been born on the property and numerous horses trained in the arena - winter and summer. Last year I put up a "mare motel", again digging in all the posts by hand and railing it myself.

The Mare Motel April 2011

I have planted strawberries, raspberries and a few new shrubs and every year I grow a garden. Tulips bloom every spring and last fall, I dug out two more flower beds for iris and lilies. I have stained the trim on two sides of the house and the deck and hope to finish next year. Inside, I have replaced the flooring and redone my bedroom. There are many more projects in the house in the planning stages.

Five years ago I moved on to a property not ready for horses in a strange-to-me area. I didn't  know a soul living in the area. Now I can say my property is a working horse property. I have a dog and several horses for company and friends I can rely on.

Many wondered why I moved to the Chilcotin and, I think, wondered if I would stay even one year. Five years ago, as I pulled my truck and trailer down the driveway for the first time, I knew why and now, five years later, I still have the same sense of peace here.

With Christmas only a few days away, I am thinking back to my first Christmas in my log house in the Chilcotin five years ago. I built a fire in the fire place on Christmas morning and opened my gifts with Kirby beside me. For what would be one of the first of many, many times, I marvelled at the view from my living room window.

Kirby and I Christmas Day 2006 - 3 days in the Chilcotin

Kirby is no longer with me. Instead, my new puppy Mischa will be opening gifts with my Christmas morning. Other than that, not much has changed. I will probably build a fire in the fireplace on Christmas morning, open the drapes and drink in the view once again and then open gifts.

Merry Christmas everyone! May it be as peaceful as mine.