Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts

A Filly Named Feather

Posted by Sharon Labels: , , , ,

She entered the world on June 8, 2011, a little, rather scrawny, bony sorrel filly with distinctive markings - a bold white strip down her face missing a chunk  (like someone had bit a piece out of it!) that turned up on the left side of her back in the form of an unusual, irregular-shaped spatter of white -  like someone flicked a paint brush at her. I had not been looking forward to this foal and now I had a crop-out! I was not thrilled.
 
 
It had been a traumatic and sorrowful foaling season. Easter required emergency measures to save her baby and Prima lost the foal I had pinned dreams on. In fact, I had lost a piece of myself when I buried Baby Wimpy. I dreaded the last mare foaling. Whether I liked it or not, though, Silk was going to foal. I monitored her progress more out of duty than joy,  and now here the baby was - with her own set of problems - I had to drag her out of the stall when her mother colicked, then rescue her again a couple of hours later when mom had a panic attack! Although she was unfazed, I had had enough.

"When will it end?" I thought. "I'm tired and I don't want any more foals - ever!"

I gave her the name I had picked for Prima's foal had it been a filly (It wasn't.) - Feather. I had already decided not to plan ahead to next year even if I suceeded in getting Prima back in foal to Wimpys Little Step and giving the name away was part of that. Much had been attached to that name...(Read Feathers and Faith.) I let it go...

Feather is a month old now. Until recently I didn't pay much attention to her. I cared for them of course, even took a few photos, but I didn't halter her, pet her or hang out with her. I had nothing left to give and she and the two colts were just reminders of a painful memory that wouldn't go away.

Apparently Feather had other ideas. She always came to greet me, ignoring my indifference. If I sat in a lawn chair while Silk grazed, Feather would come up behind me and nuzzle my hair. She wouldn't leave me alone, wouldn't take "no" for an answer. And she won. Slowly, I emerged from my self-imposed, self-indulgent "funk". I noticed how pretty she was, how personality oozed from every pore, how she tried so hard for me to make me notice her. Feather was accomplishing what nothing else could. She was bringing me back to life. Like the gentle touch of a feather, she drew me to her. She is teaching me to love her. And the white spot on her back? It's growing too... and I'm learning to love it because it is part of her, a part of a very sassy filly who is filling a hole in my heart.



The spot that makes Feather special



And so I must consider the possibility that my choice of the name, "Feather", had a far greater purpose than for a Wimpys Little Step filly. That name was meant to belong to a pretty, little sorrel filly with a big heart and the motivation to stir mine. Am I healed enough to face another loss? I don't know. But the other half of the title of that post last winter was "Faith". Remember - feathers are believed to protect and to carry spiritual messages. And I have my Feather.

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Out With the Old, In With the New

Posted by Sharon Labels: ,

"Out with the old, in with the new" is a pretty common phrase around this time every year, but I won't say that at the beginning of 2011 or any other year. I kind of like "the old". Although I look forward to 2011 and do look ahead, the "old" has been kind to me. I managed my business by myself, I successfully showed my stallions, I stayed out of hospitals and off of medication, I published a book, I spent quality time with friends and most of all, I loved my life. I am grateful.

What does 2011 hold for me? More of the same, I hope. I will welcome each day. It is a gift. I will embace each experience and look for new ones. I will spend time with my family and friends. I will even appreciate my aches and pains because they tell me I'm alive.

Alive. That's what it's really about. Really alive. There is so much life around me - my horses, my garden, birds, trees - the list is endless. And there will be new life in the spring - five new foals! What a gift that is!

One 2010 blog post I titled "The Stars are Aligned" where I talked about 2011 Wildwood Reining Horses landmarks, but the post I try to live by each day is the one called "Alive and in the Present". To see and hear with a newness born of being aware of the present is really being alive. Hard to do when things go wrong, but oh, the rewards!

I finished off my blog for 2010 with a whimsical, somewhat spiritual piece about connections, prayers and faith. I don't make New Year's resolutions but, as I embark on a journey into a new year, I'm going to try to hold on to that..

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Feathers and Faith

Posted by Sharon Labels: , , , ,

This is my last blog entry for 2010. Although the goal all year was to post every Monday, I missed a few weeks and sometimes I was late. This week, again, I am late but there are reasons.


Each week throughout the year I wrote about something that had affected me that week - an event, a persistant thought - but this time, even with Christmas, nothing was uppermost in my mind that was worthy of comment . . . until I received a card from a friend. Inside were two hawk feathers.


Sending feathers to me is true to my friend's character. It's something she would not hesitate to do. She told me she found the feathers by the house and thought of me. Why? I don't know. She probably doesn't know. She would not search for a reason; she would just accept the message.

All week I had been watching for a sign connecting events of my life. The coinciding of a full moon, a lunar eclipse and winter solstice on December 20th intrigued me (and I stayed up to watch it), but didn't trigger any earth-shattering revelation although I searched for one.
Christmas came and went along with a 12-hour power outage. Still nothing. I was waiting for a sign, a feeling, something I had to get down on paper such as had inspired blog posts all year. Nothing . . . until the feathers arrived in the mail.

Wolves adorned the front of the card my friend sent to me. That was no accident. She knows I admire the wolf and his way of life, his loyalty most of all. That's why the wolf is the "mascot" for Wildwood Reining Horses. What my friend did not know is that I had chosen a name for the Wimpys Little Step foal arriving in the spring if it is a filly - Feather. Is this a sign? Will it be a filly? Only time will tell. One thing for sure, though, my friend and I had connected . . . through hawk feathers.

Hawk feathers are believed to protect, which is why native people tied them at the door of their homes. Feathers are also believed to be the carriers of spiritual messages and were filled with prayer and released to waft heavenward. Faith.

So, on the last day of the year, I will spend a quiet day at home with my animals. I will think of my family and friends in other parts of the country. I may contemplate some more on the meaning of the gift of feathers and maybe, just maybe, I will take them outside, whisper a prayer into them and let them go.

Happy New Year!

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