Ridin', Reinin' and Writin'

You know how, if you lose the book marker in a book you’re reading, it’s sometimes difficult to find your place again (especially if you’ve put the book down for a while) - you're either re-reading what you've already read or have jumped forward missing some of the story. Well, that’s kind of what happened to me – in the book that is my life, I lost the marker and I’m trying to find where I was again.

A good book surprises the reader with twists and turns that challenge the main character and that character meets each challenge, resolves it and, we hope, finds what he/she is looking for by the last chapter. The book wouldn't be interesting if it was any other way! I like to think life wouldn’t be very interesting, either if there weren’t some bumps and detours in the road. I’ve certainly experienced those! So when and why did I lose my place? Did I just hit a bump and run off into the ditch?

I’ve always been the kind of person who has goals – lots of them. I’m also the kind of person who has a plan – always. Plans doesn't always work out the way I want of course, but that never deterred me much before. I changed course, altered the plan and kept going. Not so lately. I'm spinning my wheels trying to find that marker.

Losing my place means I am questioning what got me to this point in my life, where I have arrived and where my story is going from here. I’m floundering around in self-doubt and uncertainty and that’s an unfamiliar and scary feeling. For someone who always knows where she’s at in her “book”, with an unwavering eye on several goals, finding my place again is crucial to my story.

And so this post is about planting both feet in the present and marking the place. By starting to blog again, I hope ideas, plans, enough for several ‘chapters’ of my book will follow. Are my weanling fillies, Perfect and Cameo, that lost marker? Maybe. They are the future of several Wildwood mares no longer with me; maybe they are part of my continuing story too.